29 March 2016


After reaching a pretty low point in my illness I decided to record my attempt at recovery - you can read my first post here if you missed it. It may not be exciting but this is just for me. This is my corner of the Internet and my rules. Last week I started my medication and my first week of being signed off from work. I've tried to be as honest as possible...you never know there might be someone reading that feels the same and my posts might actually make a difference.

I was going to write this like a diary, but changed my mind for the same reason that I don't actually write a diary...some days are better than others and I forget! So I just decided to write about my first weeks experience

My first day on my meds were pretty much a numb blur of sobbing in the doctors office, feeling guilty for being signed off from work and generally feeling like an awful person for being so selfish.. This coupled up with the start of awful nausea and drowsiness would definitely be classed as a write off!

The following day I literally felt like I had a hangover - an empty nauseous stomach and a pounding headache that wouldn't go away, no matter how many ibuprofen I took! - but without the fun, satisfied feeling of a great night. I forced myself to have a blueberry muffin in the morning before heading back to bed to crawl back into my duvet burrito. Kieran, the diamond that he occasionally is, bought me a McDonalds home for dinner as it's pretty much the only thing I ever remotely thought I could stomach. After demolishing a feast of a plain quarter pounds with 6 nuggets and fries I headed back to bed for more much needed sleep. I'm not sure whether it was the tablets or whether I was purely THAT exhausted but whatever the cause, I wasn't complaining.

As the week went on the headache disappear but the sickness did not. Every day I wanted to make the most of a "day off work" and do something productive like clean the house, or go to the gym but my energy just wasn't there. I couldn't even do the washing up or cook dinner without feeling shattered by the end of it. On Saturday I finally started to feel more human. I even showered and put on clothes! My best friend took me out for the day and ploughed me with cocktails and yummy food and provided me with a massive amount of giggles and sanity - as she always does. Serious mate if your reading this, I love you!

It's pretty much been a quiet bank holiday weekend trying to avoid pushing myself to hard. My parents popped round and brought chocolate and hugs and I was treated to a microwaveable unicorn to help my nauseousness and help me sleep at night.

Now I'm onto my second week off work and the previous week feels like a complete blur...and I still haven't taken a picture for the post header...which seems insignificant but is really irritating! It's on my to do list I swear!

So to sum up my rambling: if your on your first week of medication expect the first few days to consist of you living in pj's and sleeping. Take plenty of baths and don't worry about anything else apart from you and your recovery! You are allowed to think of your self. It doesn't make you a bad person! And if your thinking of seeking help please don't be put off by this, it's one week of feeling semi poorly, a much better choice than unpredictable feelings on a bad day.

Thank you to everyone who has shown support and kindness and also my loved ones for picking me up and generally being the best people in the world! Here's to the second week - and hopefully a few trips to the gym!

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